What do you see in the photo above? I have a smile, I’m posing for a photo, using a filter to make me look better, this is what I do day by day, I put on a face, I smile, I laugh, I do things with my kids, but in the background, what’s really going on…..
I’m thinking of ways to raise money to fund a new wheelchair I am desperately in need of as the one I have is not doing the job it was purchased for. I have researched so many charities to help my chair plight, but they are all turning me down.
I am thinking about how I am going to make Christmas perfect for my kids after missing out when I was having my treatment, and I also need to make sure they have all they need day to day.
I am in pain, but I’m always masking it, I’m so good at it it’s become a norm not a challenge, I have it down to a fine art.
I’m trying to run a home and make sure my partner and kids are fed and watered and have clean clothes and a clean house. That often means I go without things to make sure they are taken care of.
I’m thinking about the way society sees me and views me, do people talk behind my back about me? Do they think I’m lazy for not working, and I guess for asking for help to raise money for my chair, an item most people will say I don’t need, are they commenting on my weight gain from not being able to be active, do they say I’m lazy?
Anyhow, my point in this – when people say I’m ok, they probably are not ok, they just put on the “ok face” so think how you can help, be kind and be careful what you say as words can and do harm.
Lots of love Sxxx
If you could, please pop over to my gofundme, and even if you cannot donate, please please share it for me.
Every year on the 11th hour, of the 11th day in the 11th month we celebrate “Armistice Day” which marks the end of the First World War. This year it fell on Wednesday, however I wanted to save this post until today as for me it better suits today.
On the second Sunday of November, we, as a nation and several of the commonwealth countries come together to celebrate, and thank those armed forces personnel who have given their lives to serve their country and to keep me and you, and our children safe. Not only do we celebrate those men and women, but we also give thanks to their relatives who have been left behind.
We have a national service of remembrance which is streamed on the BBC here in the UK (you can find it on bbc iPlayer if you would like to watch – please do ask me for the link if you cannot find it).
The poppy has a vastly significant roll in the marking of this occasion, people wear poppies, decorate windows and their houses, lay poppies at remembrance memorials and much more. The poppy represents the landscapes of the First World War as many fields on the western front were covered in them. There is a poem called In Flanders Field which is beautiful…..
I have a brother who is a soldier, he was injured out in Afghanistan back in 2013, luckily he wasn’t significantly injured compared to many he was serving with however it has triggered his Fibromyalgia (we both suffer with this, and our Dad has ME). I am immensely proud of my little brother, and I thank him, his friends and colleagues for all they do to keep me, my family and our friends safe. Ben since being injured has got involved with several charities – I will link their websites at the end of the post – and it has helped his mental health so much.
One is Limitless Motor Sports, this charity provide track days for people with disabilities, and I am hoping they will be able to sneak a day in for me too, Ben is their go to mechanic, and a valued member of their team. He is hoping to progress to being allowed to handle one of their cars a bit more often.
The other charity Ben is involved with is Karting for Injured Troops. This is an amazing charity who compete in Go-Kart races all over the country, and even outside of the UK. Ben loves driving for the team, it takes his mind of the stresses of “real life” although it does add stresses for Karting life, as we have seen, however, he is fantastic at what he does and my kids were so excited to see him race and cannot wait to see him again next year.
Ben has decorated his helmet himself, and I know it is having its first outing at Silverstone today on the last track day to be held there. Ben is really sad as he loves the Silverstone track, but that’s the reality of life. I am going to add a few pictures of his helmet, even though it is not yet finished at the bottom of this post.
If you have got this far, thank you for taking the time to read it.
We had tie wrapped the corners of the cage together to stop them coming open, the little sod has chewed through the tie wraps and had a field day. This time however, we think she may have been gobbled by a cat. We watched her on our camera until around midnight then she vanished not to be seen again!
Also, if you have chance, please can you go over to my gofundme, and if you cannot afford to donate, please share, or suggest places I can approach for help!
Let’s go back to 8:10am today, Monday 18th October 2021……
I was ready…..
The kids were ready…..
The bags were ready…..
My wheelchair was ready…..
I closed the door and put in the key, which then did this……
I noticed the key was bent, looked at it, and next thing I know it is in two pieces in my hand. This is the last thing I needed as we were going to pick up Colby’s best mate on the way.
I had to think on my feet…. I came in, closed the door, pushed the sofa over the door and went out the back.
I sent Colby round to bring my wheelchair, it should have taken 30 seconds, instead they went the long way round and left me waiting, needless to say, I wasn’t impressed. They then had to just about jog to school so we were not late.
I got home and had to come through the back and get my chair through the kitchen which is a nightmare in itself when you have mobility issues.
The only key we now have is Dan’s and he is working, luckily my parents are grabbing the monkeys for me tonight.
I’m chilling on the sofa in my pjs and oodie watching tv.
Have a great week, see you soon
Lots of love xxx
Just a quick reminder – I am currently trying to raise money for a new electric wheelchair. Please go check my story out, and if you cannot donate can you please at least share for me. The link is https://gofund.me/03c3b97d
Do you ever feel like just giving up? Like you don’t know where to turn, who will be there for you, who will help you……. At the moment I feel like giving up.
Everything is getting me down at the moment, and my mental and physical health are suffering. I have no energy, I am sleeping less than I normally sleep (I only get 3-4 hours usually), I’m in pain, my anxiety is majorly high (I cannot stand being in the room as Dan and the kids when they are eating Etc, it makes me want to cry) and I know that I am holding my family back.
There is so much stuff the kids and Dan want to do, but because I cannot join in, they don’t get to do it. I know it stresses Dan out because he knows the effect it has on me mentally, and then there is Colb, he wants to do so much and when we are snuggling on a night he will say “mummy I want to do……… BUT I know you cannot”, to see his face and hear the crack in his voice makes me want to cry.
What’s the point in this post you may ask, well to be honest I don’t know, I am just letting my feelings out.
If you get chance please could you pop over to my gofundme? If you cannot donate can you please share for me, or if you know of any charities that might help can you send me their link.
Hey all, sorry I went AWOL again, but the last few weeks have truly been a nightmare.
First Dan was diagnosed with covid, and even though he is double jabbed he was really poorly. Luckily the kids and I didn’t contract it, but the stress did kick off a bad flare, so I’m struggling with pain, not sleeping leading to exhaustion and just being generally unsettled.
Then today, this happened…….
I heard a clunk on my chair, and got to my grans to find that my chair had literally snapped, leaving it with a free floating seat, which as you can imagine is not a good thing.
I only got this chair (as a replacement for a faulty one) in March, and while I’m aware that I do cause wear and tear, I don’t cause that much. Luckily the company are sending me out a new frame that will be here on Wednesday.
Carrying on from the chair thing – as you know I am trying to get a new chair that will allow me to go off-road, on the beach Etc. The kids and Dan went geocaching at the weekend, I was left in the car as I couldn’t access the trails. This means what should have been a family day out wasn’t for me.
I have set up a gofundme page (I will link at the end) but if you know anyone from a charity or such who might me able to help with a donation please could you let me know, or give them my email address. Even just sharing the gofundme link would be amazing.
20 years today, 2 airplanes crashed into the twin towers in New York killing thousands of people. Thousands of innocent people who were grandmas, grandads, mums, dads, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunties, sons, daughters, nieces, nephews and friends.
This was a despicable act of terrorism. What we do forget was it could have also been so much worse, a plane hit the Pentagon, and in Pennsylvania, selfless individuals caused the plane they were on board of to crash to avoid it causing more death.
I don’t think any of us will ever comprehend what happened on that fateful day. The radical views brainwashed into those who gave their life and took the lives of others for Al Qaeda. Nearly 3000 people’s lives were taken on that day.
To all those who fought on that day to rescue as many as they could, the firemen, the EMTs, the police, doctors, nurses, surgeons, even passers by, and those who also gave their life in the line of their duty, I thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I cannot imagine how scared you must have been. So from my part of the UK I send my thanks to you all.
A fitting monument sits at the site of 9/11, and I hope one day to be able to visit and pay my respects.
Have you got little ones? Have they gone back to school? My two went back yesterday. Moo was very reluctant as all she wants to do is stay with me, Colby was so happy to see his best mates.
The kids and I were ready 30 minutes before we needed to set off, this was a shock as usually we are pushing it. Colb even got shoes and socks on with no drama (he has SPD and hates socks).
We did an advance visit on Monday so Colbs could see where he was sat, I could meet his teacher, and then pass information along for her regarding his “quirks”. He is now in year 4, and I’m not going to lie, I’m worried about him progressing up school as he is very very clever but struggles to transfer that onto paper.
Moo is in year 2, and to be honest I am not worried about her. She is on track for gifted and talented pathways. She will soar this year, and she is happy with her teacher.
They both came home last night happy and excited to share their day, let’s see how long it lasts!
Hey all, hope you are all well. We are on the second week of summer holidays for the kids (vacation for those of you not in the UK) and as you might have seen in one of my previous posts, I made some cards for the kids teachers.
Now while I was happy with these, I didn’t like my writing, and I’m hoping I can sell some to raise money towards the new chair I want, which means it needs a lot of improvement.
I have decided I am going to try learning modern calligraphy, I have watched some YouTube videos, and I have a practice book and pen set (but the fountain pen hurts my fingers, I forgot what it was like to write with one) and had a try today. I am definitely going to follow the advice on Natalie’s Outlet
I may also get some of the pens she recommended to make my writing better. These are my attempts so far
Let me know what you think, and if you have any tips. Writing makes my hands hurt so so bad, but I want it to be beautiful for the cards as it’s the personal touch instead of a printed generic message.