I don’t have words right now other than F*** you wheelchair services in Wakefield. Because I don’t need a chair for in the house then I don’t qualify.
My chair dumped me again the other day, and yesterday just stopped working in the middle of The Range when I hit one battery light, usually that gives me enough to get back to the car, thank goodness I wasn’t in the middle of the road.
I honestly don’t know how I am going to manage to get a chair that works properly and meets my needs.
So, the winter is finally here. It snowed quite heavily in my part of West Yorkshire on Saturday (much to my kids delight). Where I live the snow didn’t really settle, but up where Dan works still had a fair bit of snow this morning.
I didn’t do the school run this morning as Moo is still quite poorly and I don’t want her out in the freezing cold. My amazing friend Mel took Colb to school for me, however he insisted on taking his scooter and fell before he had got 50yard from the back gate. I told him to leave the scooter at home but he refused and I didn’t want to have Mel in the cold with her little one while he kicked off. Tomorrow if it’s like this he WILL NOT be taking the damn scooter, I will just have to deal with the tantrum!
I had a thought after seeing him fall, how am I going to manage with the icy and possibly snow covered paths in my wheelchair. We have already seen I can be thrown out of my chair (into nettle bushes and main roads) on a lerfdd red cat dry, sunny day, how am I going to manage when it’s slippy? I have already had one near miss when my brakes didn’t apply quickly enough. To be perfectly honest, I’m scared at the moment. I know I will soon find out, but the school run is going to be an apprehensive one when I finally attempt it.
I have to say, I went to Asda while it was snowing, and I was wearing my M8 Apparel hoodie. It is one of the warmest and cosiest hoodies I have ever had. If you get chance pop by their website and have a look, tell them I sent you! https://m8clothing.com/
Could you also take the time to pop over to my gofundme, and if you cannot donate, please give it a share, or recommend anyone I could get in touch with to help/ways to try and raise some money so I can get my new chair, it’s winter ready and would make me less nervous going out on my own/with the kids. https://gofund.me/03c3b97d
What do you see in the photo above? I have a smile, I’m posing for a photo, using a filter to make me look better, this is what I do day by day, I put on a face, I smile, I laugh, I do things with my kids, but in the background, what’s really going on…..
I’m thinking of ways to raise money to fund a new wheelchair I am desperately in need of as the one I have is not doing the job it was purchased for. I have researched so many charities to help my chair plight, but they are all turning me down.
I am thinking about how I am going to make Christmas perfect for my kids after missing out when I was having my treatment, and I also need to make sure they have all they need day to day.
I am in pain, but I’m always masking it, I’m so good at it it’s become a norm not a challenge, I have it down to a fine art.
I’m trying to run a home and make sure my partner and kids are fed and watered and have clean clothes and a clean house. That often means I go without things to make sure they are taken care of.
I’m thinking about the way society sees me and views me, do people talk behind my back about me? Do they think I’m lazy for not working, and I guess for asking for help to raise money for my chair, an item most people will say I don’t need, are they commenting on my weight gain from not being able to be active, do they say I’m lazy?
Anyhow, my point in this – when people say I’m ok, they probably are not ok, they just put on the “ok face” so think how you can help, be kind and be careful what you say as words can and do harm.
Lots of love Sxxx
If you could, please pop over to my gofundme, and even if you cannot donate, please please share it for me.
Every year on the 11th hour, of the 11th day in the 11th month we celebrate “Armistice Day” which marks the end of the First World War. This year it fell on Wednesday, however I wanted to save this post until today as for me it better suits today.
On the second Sunday of November, we, as a nation and several of the commonwealth countries come together to celebrate, and thank those armed forces personnel who have given their lives to serve their country and to keep me and you, and our children safe. Not only do we celebrate those men and women, but we also give thanks to their relatives who have been left behind.
We have a national service of remembrance which is streamed on the BBC here in the UK (you can find it on bbc iPlayer if you would like to watch – please do ask me for the link if you cannot find it).
The poppy has a vastly significant roll in the marking of this occasion, people wear poppies, decorate windows and their houses, lay poppies at remembrance memorials and much more. The poppy represents the landscapes of the First World War as many fields on the western front were covered in them. There is a poem called In Flanders Field which is beautiful…..
I have a brother who is a soldier, he was injured out in Afghanistan back in 2013, luckily he wasn’t significantly injured compared to many he was serving with however it has triggered his Fibromyalgia (we both suffer with this, and our Dad has ME). I am immensely proud of my little brother, and I thank him, his friends and colleagues for all they do to keep me, my family and our friends safe. Ben since being injured has got involved with several charities – I will link their websites at the end of the post – and it has helped his mental health so much.
One is Limitless Motor Sports, this charity provide track days for people with disabilities, and I am hoping they will be able to sneak a day in for me too, Ben is their go to mechanic, and a valued member of their team. He is hoping to progress to being allowed to handle one of their cars a bit more often.
The other charity Ben is involved with is Karting for Injured Troops. This is an amazing charity who compete in Go-Kart races all over the country, and even outside of the UK. Ben loves driving for the team, it takes his mind of the stresses of “real life” although it does add stresses for Karting life, as we have seen, however, he is fantastic at what he does and my kids were so excited to see him race and cannot wait to see him again next year.
Ben has decorated his helmet himself, and I know it is having its first outing at Silverstone today on the last track day to be held there. Ben is really sad as he loves the Silverstone track, but that’s the reality of life. I am going to add a few pictures of his helmet, even though it is not yet finished at the bottom of this post.
If you have got this far, thank you for taking the time to read it.
Let’s go back to 8:10am today, Monday 18th October 2021……
I was ready…..
The kids were ready…..
The bags were ready…..
My wheelchair was ready…..
I closed the door and put in the key, which then did this……
I noticed the key was bent, looked at it, and next thing I know it is in two pieces in my hand. This is the last thing I needed as we were going to pick up Colby’s best mate on the way.
I had to think on my feet…. I came in, closed the door, pushed the sofa over the door and went out the back.
I sent Colby round to bring my wheelchair, it should have taken 30 seconds, instead they went the long way round and left me waiting, needless to say, I wasn’t impressed. They then had to just about jog to school so we were not late.
I got home and had to come through the back and get my chair through the kitchen which is a nightmare in itself when you have mobility issues.
The only key we now have is Dan’s and he is working, luckily my parents are grabbing the monkeys for me tonight.
I’m chilling on the sofa in my pjs and oodie watching tv.
Have a great week, see you soon
Lots of love xxx
Just a quick reminder – I am currently trying to raise money for a new electric wheelchair. Please go check my story out, and if you cannot donate can you please at least share for me. The link is https://gofund.me/03c3b97d
Do you ever feel like just giving up? Like you don’t know where to turn, who will be there for you, who will help you……. At the moment I feel like giving up.
Everything is getting me down at the moment, and my mental and physical health are suffering. I have no energy, I am sleeping less than I normally sleep (I only get 3-4 hours usually), I’m in pain, my anxiety is majorly high (I cannot stand being in the room as Dan and the kids when they are eating Etc, it makes me want to cry) and I know that I am holding my family back.
There is so much stuff the kids and Dan want to do, but because I cannot join in, they don’t get to do it. I know it stresses Dan out because he knows the effect it has on me mentally, and then there is Colb, he wants to do so much and when we are snuggling on a night he will say “mummy I want to do……… BUT I know you cannot”, to see his face and hear the crack in his voice makes me want to cry.
What’s the point in this post you may ask, well to be honest I don’t know, I am just letting my feelings out.
If you get chance please could you pop over to my gofundme? If you cannot donate can you please share for me, or if you know of any charities that might help can you send me their link.
Hey all, hope you are all well. We are on the second week of summer holidays for the kids (vacation for those of you not in the UK) and as you might have seen in one of my previous posts, I made some cards for the kids teachers.
Now while I was happy with these, I didn’t like my writing, and I’m hoping I can sell some to raise money towards the new chair I want, which means it needs a lot of improvement.
I have decided I am going to try learning modern calligraphy, I have watched some YouTube videos, and I have a practice book and pen set (but the fountain pen hurts my fingers, I forgot what it was like to write with one) and had a try today. I am definitely going to follow the advice on Natalie’s Outlet
I may also get some of the pens she recommended to make my writing better. These are my attempts so far
Let me know what you think, and if you have any tips. Writing makes my hands hurt so so bad, but I want it to be beautiful for the cards as it’s the personal touch instead of a printed generic message.
Some of you might remember that I posted about wanting an all singing all dancing off-roading wheelchair I had seen, that was unfortunatly £11,000 to buy (here is a little reminder……
Since then I have several people asking me why I don’t set up a go fund me, and I have said, I didn’t post about the chair to be “begging for money” that really isn’t my thing, I HATE asking for help as all my friends will tell you.
We did set up a go fund me several months ago to buy my current chair – we got £15 – luckily I had money from my gran which meant I could buy one. It’s great, but doesn’t do off-road like I need.
So my question is, do I set up a go fund me, as several people have suggested/offered to set up for me, or not, and realistically how effective would it be, I’m not a big time blogger, I don’t make YouTube content, I only have 1.5k followers on Instagram and I just think it would be a flop.